“When the Thargoids are sending their people, they’re not sending their best”
CMDR Zachary Trump
“We’ve got some bad hombres here and we’re going to get them out”
Also CMDR Zachary Trump
Zachary Trump’s Beginner’s Guide to Deporting Illegal Thargoids
So, you want to Make the Galaxy Great Again? Let’s get you started removing Thargoids, then. It’s just a few simple steps.
- Get an AX ship. Head over to the Ship Builds page, navigate to the Space Force Deportation Fleet section, pick a ship, then build it. Set your fire groups as follows:
– fire group 1: gauss cannons on both triggers
– fire group 2: Flak Launchers on both triggers, if more than one launcher is installed.
– fire group 3: Shutdown Field Neutraliser and the optional AX Scanner
- Head over to the Pleiades. I recommend visiting Celaeno, Artemis Lodge – plenty of targets there. We’ll use that system as an example.
- Head outside the station, go to supercruise, and hit the brakes.
- Open your FSS and honk like a space-trucker that just murdered a prostitute. If you are a space-trucker that just murdered a prostitute – honk again and please stop murdering prostitutes.
- Set your scanner to the second set of signals from the left, as pictured. These are the tell-tale signatures of illegal Thargoids.
- For starters, find a Threat 5 Non-Human Signal Source. These will always include either some scouts (ignore them), a probe (ignore it), or a Cyclops (don’t ignore it).
- Once you’ve found your Cyclops, you can (optionally) check it’s ID with your AX Scanner. It’s 100% guaranteed to have none.
- Proceed with the procedure. Open fire on the bastard with your Gauss Cannons. When one of its hearts/petals starts glowing a more intense red, shoot that. Note that the interceptor has released a swarm of small drones.
- Once the heart is gone, boost away. As soon as you’re c. 5km away from the Thargoid, whip out your Flak Launchers and target the swarm. If the swarm is c. 4 km away from you, just hold down your trigger while aiming directly at the target, then release when the circle around your targeting reticle becomes full. If the swarms closes to c. 3km, you’ll need to lead it – just aim roughly between the swarm and the lead indicator. Repeat until the swarm is no more. The interceptor will now launch another one. Destroy that too.
- Exactly 60 seconds after you destroyed its heart, the interceptor will drop its shield. Return to step 8 and repeat. Be aware that the now-wounded cyclops will attempt to urinate on you. The Yellow Lightning, as it is known in some circles, will disable a random module, slow you down, and seriously damage your shields. You can boost past the Thargoid to avoid it.
- At some point, you may get an “Energy Surge Detected” warning. That’s just the xeno’s filthy EMP field. Switch to your Shutdown Field Neutraliser and hold down the trigger until the device resets.
- The interceptor will also occasionally launch caustic missiles. These can be easily outrun. Should you get hit by one, just overheat to 250%, then let loose a heatsink.
- After several iterations of the procedure, the Cyclops will die. Beware of the cloud of smoke it releases – it is caustic. Our specialists have yet to identify the exact nature of the cloud, but the current prevailing theory is that it is a cloud of smoke resulting from the combustion of the Thargoid Weed the bugs are so fond of smuggling – see the previous step for cleaning.
- Enjoy your victory. Hand in the resulting combat bonds at your nearest mercenary facility. For further training, contact our experts at MGGA.